Argumentative essay: should marriage be arranged.

Getting married and living together in happy is the last target of any lover couples. However, nowadays there are many people who get married without love but arrangement or obligation from family. So, “Do people happy with their marriage?” and “Is arranged marriage good?”. In fact, I’m sure that most of people don’t want to get married with a stranger according to family’s expectation and so do I, so that in my point of view, marriage should not be arranged.

 First, arranged marriage is easy to broken down. The basic and necessary background of marriage is love. However, it’s usually in an arranged marriage that there is not love. The reason is maybe because of the religion or spiritual belief such as difference in religion, age, education, social status, situation of family, ect. Therefore, family object to the relationship of their children with person he or she really loves. Then, they force their children to get married to another person who they think that he or she is suitable with their children in age, religion, social status or education, ect. My mother told me a story about one of my cousins. After graduating from university and having a good job in city, he met and loved a colleague. However, after he presented her with family and told them his want, his parents objected him and prevented him from getting married to this girl. When he asked for reason, they said that this girl’s age is not suitable with him, if getting married, family will usually disagreement and they will live in misery. Consequently, the wedding of my cousin and this girl never be celebrated. After that, he didn’t get married until 35 ages. Because of being only child in family, his parents were very worried and decided to arrange his marriage with a girl they choose. I don’t know whether him love this girl or not but the wedding still occurred in July last year in the happy of two families. There are many other reasons of arranging marriage but in general, most arranged marriage lack of love because marriage is arranged within a short time. Time from meeting to getting married is maybe several months. It is not enough for them to understand each other and develop emotion to become love. Furthermore, getting married means that people live together, share all emotion, encourage each other in life and bring up children. When marriage bases on arrangement or obligation of others, their life is only because of responsibility, tolerance each other and pressure from family. They still live together, give birth and bring up them but for both of them, marriage is like a burden, so that breaking down is indispensable result. Sooner or later, they divorce to finish unhappy marriage.

 Arranged marriage also affects many people especially the children. When starting an arranged marriage, it was not the girl or the boy supporting this marriage but two families. Therefore, when the marriage is broken down, they also are affected a lot. They tried to make this marriage and put their hope on happy life of their children; so unsuccessful marriage proved that they were wrong. No one wants to admit mistake so they blame responsibility on the other. It makes the relationship between two families become worse and worse. However, people who are affected the most are children. Because they are not result of love of their parents, when they were born, the burden about economy and responsibility of their parents becomes heavier. These children usually only receive love from mother or father, maybe sometime from both of them but it don’t come from a perfect family. In addition, their childhood can connect to sad memory about unhappy family, quarrel of parents. It’s more serious when their parents divorce, at that time, children become victims of adult’s activities. They have to live in situation that is short of love from both parents and relatives. This is a fact that, the personality of a person is affected a lots by what happen in the past, especially in childhood, so I’m sure that when these children grow up, there will be a small part in their character that is affected by lacking love when they were young. Every day, we heard a lot of news about children who left their house. I believe that in these children, there are children whose parents divorce and always live in lacking of love as well as education of both mother and father. An arranged marriage is not only bad for wife and husband but for many other people include their children.

Nowadays, there are many ideas suggest that a person can be very happy because of money, high social status. Love doesn’t necessary to make the marriage be happy, so that arranged marriage is good. When a marriage be arrange, it will be supported from both two families. Moreover, because of the same social status or situation of family, they will be ensured about a sufficient life, a stable economy in the future. It is enough to make a happy marriage. We can’t deny that money and social status are necessary elements in a marriage but are they enough? And do you sure money and social status can maintain happy in family for long time?. When getting married, people don’t live together only 1 day, 1 month or 1 year but all life. Money and social status can make people happy by buying what they need, doing what they want and receiving respect from others. However, when money and status are no longer, there are not any things to tie them together and they divorce. Maybe only love is not enough to make a perfect marriage and at least people live by true emotion from heart not because of the obligation and arrangement related to money or social status. That’s why love that lacks of in arranged marriages is very important in marriage and marriage should not be arranged.

 I believe that love is the most important element in a marriage. Money and other things are only making a marriage happy in a short time. Family is cell of society. Only when family is happy, society are happy and develop. In addition, with disadvantages of arranged marriage such as threat of breaking down, bad effect on other people especially children, marriage should not be arranged.